Some random thoughts

Just a quick post with some random things that have been bouncing in my head, but don't warrant a full post each.

1) I like our new iron, but only because it occasionally makes a noise like the smoke monster on Lost.

2) When you let the snowmen in your front yard melt, you don't have to clean up the carrots, but you do have to deal with rabbit poo.

3) How does Swiper the Fox snap his fingers so well while wearing gloves?

4) Dora thinks a funny face is just putting your hands on your cheeks.... lame. But it was enough the make the grumpy old troll (or trumpy old troll in our house) laugh.

P.S. can you guess what we watched at our house tonight?

Special Olympics

Shame on President Obama for making a politically incorrect joke!

(yeah right).

Really, I think you should only be offended if:
1) You are in the special olympics (or, more properly, paralympics)
2) You are related to somebody who fits #1
3) You have never, ever, called somebody "special", or "retarded"

And I guess that if you must pounce on the man for his offhand comments, then you must agree 100% with the first 20 minutes of economic policy.

Autobody shop

File this under strange observations:

I drove past an independent repair shop the other day and noticed that the parking lot was full of snow covered cars. This got me thinking that at every repair shop I've ever been to, or driven past, there are always the requisite broken, snow-covered cars in the lot.

Which makes me wonder:

1) Do autobody shops have a distributer, similar to restaurants, that supplies them with broken cars so that it looks like they have lots of work?
2) Who are the people who take their cars to the shop, but don't actually get them worked on for months? Did they max out the credit card on the towing charges?
3) Maybe it's the shop owner who buys smashed cars in hopes of restoring them when he has free time

Teenage Love

I had to take the earlier bus home today, which means that I have to share it with a bunch of high school kids. Usually, I just put on my mp3 player and tune them out - but I'm glad that I didn't today.

There were these two girls (Janelle and no-name) who were talking about some boy (because what else do girls talk about?). First of all, Janelle wanted to text him saying "Hiya my giraffe" (??) - but she had to be told by her friend how to spell giraffe 10 TIMES!

Ok, what-ev-er!

ANYWAY, she then proceeded to leave him the longest voicemail that I have ever heard. Here are my favourite snippets:

1) Even if you had 200 pimples on your face, I would kiss all of them, every last one, until there was pus all over my lips. That's how much I love you.

2) I love you until the end of time. And if that doesn't happen, then I'll love you for ever and ever, even in my grave, my heart will be pumping for you. Even though that means I'm not technically dead. My heart pumps just for you.... pump......................pump.................(wait for it)..........pump......................pump

Yes - there were 4 pumps there at the end - all in a high pitched voice, and about 20 seconds apart.

Which makes me wonder, when I was in high school, was I that stupid?

Nut man

I ran in to the Nut Man in the elevator at work today, and I came up with the following observation:

Is it always true that the Nut Man's appearance matches his job title?

I don't think I'd buy candy from a guy that looked as crazy as him.

You try to win, but you just can't win!

We spent a great weekend at my sister's house last weekend. Generally, these weekends involve two things:

1. Eating copious amounts of junk food
2. Me beating everyone at board games

I don't mean to brag (well, actually I do), but I seem to win a lot of the time when I play board games. Now - I'm not talking about your boring games that you played with your family growing up - we're into German-style games. Alex, my niece, even commented "why does Uncle David win all the time?"

Anyway, I thought about this and I think that there are several factors that influence my extreme prowess:

1. I played (and still play) a lot of video games.
2. I'm a computer programmer

Numbers 1 and 2 help me to hold a lot of crap in my head at once. But I think that the big reason is #3:

3. Growing up, I played a lot of games against myself.

Yes, sad but true. When your sisters are 6 and 8 years older than you, they are more interested in boys their age, and not the annoying little boy that lives in their house. I think I got so good at games because the only person who I could reliably find to play against was myself.

So take that Janine and Colleen - it's your fault that I win all the time!

It's a bird! It's a plane!

A few months ago, we were driving home, Kathryn and I saw an impressive shooting star. While it wasn't as impressive as the Edmonton Fireball, it was still pretty cool - and lasted for about 20 seconds or so.

Kathryn, (who immediately regretted it as soon as she opened her mouth) says to the girls "Look girls, a shooting star". Now, keep in mind that Emily can't find things in the house when they are on the floor directly in front of her.

Neither of the girls saw it before it burned up - cue the whines and cries. So Kathryn says "Oh no, I was wrong, it was just an airplane".

Rebecca ate it up, but Emily continued to snivel, pout and moan ("why do these things always happen to me").

Becca, in her meanest yelling voice, turns to Emily and says:

"EMILY! IT WASN'T A SHOOTING STAR. MOMMY SAID IT WAS JUST A PLANE!"

(and was probably calling her Triplet or Crank in her head)