Envision this!

Thank goodness that Envision Edmonton's campaign has amounted to nothing.

What really bugged me about the whole campaign was Charles Allard's ranting and whining about democracy being denied with the denial of their petition.  Last I checked, we live in a representational democracy.  That means that we vote in representatives to make the decisions.  Our democratic voice is heard at election time.  After that, we give the responsibility of decision making to the elected officials.

And it's not like the airport debate has been a silent thing for the last twenty years.  Even in the past two years, council has had enough public hearings, debates and reports to make the right decision.

And don't get me started on Envision deciding to submit their petition a year late.

As for the petition itself.  Envision Edmonton claims 90,000 signatures on their petition.  Let's break those numbers down with my completely scientific method.

1. Take off 25% for people who don't live in Edmonton - leaving 43,861
2. Take off 5% for non-citizens - leaving 41,668
3. Take off 5% for duplicates - leaving 39,585
4. Take off 10% for people who signed fake names (how many Ben Dovers on the list?) - leaving 35,626
5. Take off 10% for people who signed, just to shut up the petitioners - leaving 32,063
6. Take off 30% who signed, just so they could vote to close the airport - leaving 22,444
7. Take off 40% for people who don't actually vote - leaving 13,466
8. Take off 80% for stupid people - leaving 2,869
9. Take off 50% for people who did it because someone cute asked them - leaving 1,344

That seams like a reasonable number to me.

I've been to the Muni twice in my life.  Once, I was a little kid, there to pick somebody up.  My only memory was of a nasty, rundownish looking place that did not make me feel safe.  And that was in the days of regular air service!  The second was to go flying with a friend who's a pilot.  Funny story - turns out you need to keep your pilot's licence up to date, just like a driver's licence.  We spent the morning at Ricky's, which, unfortunately, will have to shut down soon with the lack of airport travelers looking for some tasty breakfast.

Enough about that crappy place.  Time to think of the future which, thankfully, the residents of Edmonton seem to be in favour of.  Check out the Yes! For Edmonton site.  There's an interesting link on there about an airport redevelopment project in Austin.  Watch for my name on the Yes! site, though I don't think I'm high-profile enough to show up there.  Maybe if I told them that Michael Phair stalks me, they'll put my name up.

(Aside:  I really did think Mr. Phair was stalking me - I used to see him all the time downtown.  I think I may have even blogged about it once... Turns out that he's just hard to miss in those colourful shirts).  Yes, just re-read that blog - I said the EXACT SAME THING!  Woops.

And when you're done with that and feeling good about the future of our city, take a look at the websites for the shortlisted companies for the redevelopment contract.  Impressive.

• Perkins Will
• Foster + Partners
• Sweco
• BNIM
• KCAP

And really, the only thing I like to Envision is a grumpy Charles Allard.  I understand the meaning of schadenfreude now.

Socco-politics

I've been watching a lot of World Cup soccer. It's pretty exciting stuff (once you get over the vuvuzelas). But I was thinking about a way to make the World Cup even MORE exciting.

I think that teams should get an advantage based on geo-politics and their histories. Let's take a look at how this would pan out for the round of 16:

Uruguay vs. South Korea. Ok, bad example... moving on.

Mexico vs. Argentina - another bad example - even if you go back to the Incas

USA vs. Ghana - Well, this was tough, but it looks like the CIA tried to assasinate the Ghanan president at one time. They also destabilized the county's economy. This isn't all that great, but I think the US team should get an extra man for 20 minutes of the game.

England vs. Germany - Ok, this is a tough one to sort out. England beat Germany in two wars - that should warrant a two-goal head start. But, Germany bombed the snot out of London - maybe they get to start the game with a penalty kick to try and even out the score. But, what's this? The royal family are Germans! That bit of sneakery earns them a goal. So - the game starts 2-1, with a German penalty.

Netherlands vs. Slovakia - Another one with not much excitement. The Netherlands are members of NATO while Czechoslovakia were Warsaw Pacters. I guess since NATO won the cold-war "ish" - they might be given a bit of an advantage. Of course, since The Hague is in the Netherlands, they have the right to dispute any referee's call and pass judgement on it.

Japan vs. Paraguay - Seriously? Why couldn't it have been Spain or one of those old-school colonials.

Brazil vs. Chile - again, for countries so close, there isn't that much political history (at least according to Wikipedia). Maybe Chile gets an advantage because the food that sounds like their country (chili) is way better than the Brazillian one (brazil nuts). But then again, maybe Brazil gets an advantage because of Brazillians. But I digress...

Portugal vs. Spain - this is the most epic of all group of 16 matches. Portugal's throne was claimed by a Spaniard in the 1500s. Something like that definitely deserves a 1-goal advantage. But, the Portugese successfully overthrew the Iberian Union in a war, which nullifies the goal advantage.

In summation:
If your country colonized, invaded, seized the throne or bombed the ess out of another country +1 goal.

If your country successfully overthrew tyranny by another country in a violent fashion (none of this constitutional monarchy like Canada) +1 goal.

If your country dumped is prisoners on another country (England-Australia) - +1 goal (author's note: I know this isn't true, but it's fun to make fun of Australians?)

If your country dropped an atomic bomb on another country (applies to US only) - +2 goals. (Japan will NEVER want to face the US in the World Cup)

If your country successfully beat off a much stronger country when they tried to invade - +1 goal (if Vietnam ever plays the US.)

I'm sure there are more rules, but I'll let FIFA sort them out.

Oh - and even better - I think that World Cup results should translate into tangible political advantages. Like, if you beat a nuclear-capable country by more than 3 goals, they have to give you a uranium enricher - think how hard the Iranian team would play.

And just think about the south of France and the Tuscan region in Italy. Due to their terrible performance, they should expect some Kiwi or South African land-owners soon.

Special Olympics

Shame on President Obama for making a politically incorrect joke!

(yeah right).

Really, I think you should only be offended if:
1) You are in the special olympics (or, more properly, paralympics)
2) You are related to somebody who fits #1
3) You have never, ever, called somebody "special", or "retarded"

And I guess that if you must pounce on the man for his offhand comments, then you must agree 100% with the first 20 minutes of economic policy.

Lipstick wearing pigs

Sarah Palin scares me.

Well, as a person, she doesn't literally scare me - but her policies sure do. Case in point - she actually tried to link Sadam to Al Qaeda. Seriously? Even Bush doesn't try to pull that one any more.

But she can see Russia from her house... (oh Tina Fey, is there nothing you can't do?)

I don't understand how Republicans can buy in to the talking points without being critical - Socialized Healthcare is bad - but a Socialized fire department is OK. (and so is a socialized security force). Big government is bad, they have no business in my private life - but please Mr. (or Ms.) government, can you let me carry my gun, stop other people from having abortions, and never let those gays get married.

I'm glad that in Canada, even our conservative politicians are more or less centrists, and even sometimes left-leaning. Except for Harper - who seems to be some kind of a sweater-wearing Robot.

Anyway - the election's coming up - please go and vote.... unless you're going to vote conservative - in that case, please stay home.