When? Soon. Now! BARF!

If you don't live in Edmonton, or if you do, and have been living the hermit lifestyle for the past month, let me catch you up:

About a month ago, billboards went up all around Edmonton with what looked like the Sprite bottle bubbles in the background and the word WHEN? printed in giant letters.

Then, after a few weeks, all the billboards were replaced with the word SOON. I could hardly contain my enthusiasm.

Then, the big reveal yesterday at 1:02 - the launch of a new radio station in Edmonton called Now! Here are reasons why I already don't like this station:

1) Stupid ad campaign. I hate the build-up / reveal style of ads. Whatever marketing genius thought these up should be tied to a chair and forced to watch endless loops of "Where's the Beef" ads.

2) The name. Seriously? Now! (note the exclamation mark). What kind of name is that? Also, why do they need to shout the name of the station?

3) The morning show. Now, granted, I haven't heard the morning show yet, but the hosts are named Mars and Crash. Is the first lession in DJ school 101 about how you have to pick a zany name? "Here's our morning hosts, Jiffy Pop and Quicky Lube". Stupid.

4) The song selection - "guitar-driven rock songs from artists that write their own songs" - sounds promising. First artist listed? Nickleback. Enough said. Actually, not enough said - this looks like the worst parts of The Bear, Capital FM and K-Rock all mixed together.

5) The frequency. 102.3. That's WAAAY too close to Sonic 102.9. Considering that Sonic's tower is a piddly little thing in Nisku (right by that awesome Flaman treadmill guy) - the Now! broadcast takes over that entire 102-ish frequency range. Which makes it near impossible to find Sonic on my clock radio, which uses an old-school analog dial for tuning.

Don't get me started on how much point #5 upsets me. For years, I've woken up to the hilarious ramblings of Garner Andrews on Sonic. Or, 3 out of 5 days a week, a song by Metric. What an awesome way to start the day! Now that Now! has taken over my clock radio's ability to find Sonic, I had to tune it to the Bear. I do NOT want to wake up to AC/DC. Also, Paul Brown and the other Paul Brown (Yukon Jack) (oh yeah, and the ditzy woman - seriously, why hire a hot chick for radio?) are complete morons, and make me want to throw my radio and smash it when I hear them. Not a good way to start the day in a good mood.

I want my MTV.

And by MTV, I mean Sonic.