Dress code

The other day, I ran into an interesting sight at the grocery store.  I was deep in the cheese isle looking for something or other.  At one end, there was an elderly couple and at the other end, a young couple.  Now, by young, I mean early 20s - maybe even younger, though I think they might have had a kid with them.

ANYWAY, the older couple were, for lack of a better term, dressed up.  The man was wearing nice pants and shoes, a collared shirt, and maybe even a tie.  The woman looked similarly classy.  In contrast, the young couple were the slobbiest looking people I've seen in a while - ripped, baggy sweats, too-large hoodies, shoes with no laces.  I almost had to check to make sure I hadn't warped to a Walmart.  (or, even worse, a Saan store - but I knew it wasn't Saan since I wasn't in a small town in Alberta).

That got me to thinking - what's wrong with my generation (and the younger generation)?  Why do we think it's ok to just wear whatever, wherever?  And then I wondered, did the older couple dress nicely just because they were going shopping, or do they wear nice outfits every day regardless (or irregardless for you Greg).  When did it become socially acceptable to look like a hobo, just because your baby-momma needs more milk to wash down the Colt 45?

Have you been to a live performance lately, not counting Fringe plays and rock concerts?  When I spend eight million dollars to sit in the third balcony and watch a bunch of dancing cats, you're damn right that I'm going to make an effort on my outfit.  But then you always get sat beside some cowboy who wears his dress hat with his Wranglers, because of the fancy show.

What am I trying to get at?  Who knows.  Maybe I just want everyone to wear the latest Vera Wang evening dress when they need to jaunt out to the store for more eggs (Walmart excluded).  I know that it would make my shopping time more enjoyable, especially if I'm comfortable in my ripped sweats and wife beater.

I un-heart cars

Let me start by saying that I HATE cars. HATE HATE HATE them. More specifically, I hate everything to do with the crap that's involved with owning one.

We can never go for servicing without them finding something or other that needs to be fixed. Case in point - went for an oil change this week. The van has 5,000 kms on it. This should be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy (or Japaneesy if you're not politically correct like me). After the oil change, I headed out to Costco. As I pulled in to the parking lot, the van decided to not change out of first gear. Then it decided to not engage drive at all. SUPER!

One tow-truck later, back at the dealership. Actually, before towing, we had to push the van backwards our of the parking spot because it has to be towed from the front. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a strong man... pushing with one hand whilst turning the wheel is not something that I want to ever do again.

I tell dude that the car won't reverse, won't drive. He hops in and magically, the car does a perfect lap around the building. Now I know what people feel like when they have a broken computer and I come over and it works perfectly.

Long story short (and believe me, that was a long day), looks like it needs a new transmission. Fine. Covered by warranty, rental car for free. No nonsense, but just frustrating.

What I hate more about cars is the mechanics. Kathryn and I have a small fight every time something comes up over who has to talk to the guy. She feels that they talk down to her like she's a moron. I'd be OK with that. As a man(ish), I am expected to understand how cars work. So, when he tells me the front sway bar bushings are rubbing and need to be replaced, I have to rub my chin and nod at appropriate times, like I have a clue in the world what he's talking about. He could tell me that I need a new Flux Capacitor and I'd just go right along with it, ignoring his 88 miles per hour warnings.  I've watched every episode of Top Gear, but still know nothing (unless of course, my Lamborghini Gallardo breaks down).

When something is going wrong with the car, I sometimes look inside the hood, like I will magically gain understanding, Matrix-style, of what gasket or plug is messed up and be able to fix it myself. I don't know where this silly notion comes from. Where in our genetic history was the requirement of basic car maintenance a survival trait? Did wolly mammoths have sway bar bushings maybe?

Of course, with the way things are going with cars, more and more is controlled by the on-board computer. So maybe, in ten years' time, I WILL be able to fix the car by writing a little hacky program. Then I'll go down to the dealership and talk down to the mechanic.

SYTYCSuck

Does anyone else just feel meh? towards this season's So You Think You Can Dance? I know that the finale airs tonight, but I couldn't be any less excited. Really, I don't care all that much who wins, because I don't really like any of the contestants that are left.

Now granted, everyone knows that Alex was the bee's knees, if not the bee's Achilles tendon. But let's take a quick look at the finalists:

Lauren - ok, she's gotten way better. When she's dancing, I want her to win, because she's really good. But in the pre-dance packages, her personality rubs me the wrong way.

Kent - I think he's just sailed by on his deer-in-the-headlights good looks. Also, where are his eyes? Also also, he sucks at anything that's not contemporary.

Robert - He had a really great week last week. But what's with his hair? (maybe I'm just jealous, being bald)...

But here's what else bugs me about this season:

1) All-stars. This was the lamest of the lame idea. Sure, it was nice to see them all again, but part of the charm of the show is watching two contestants crash and burn on a quickstep together. None of the competing dancers really have any chemistry together. Also, I don't want to see a bunch of allstars in the opening routine on the results show - I don't care about them!

2) Top-11 vs. Top-20. There weren't enough dancers to start with. Maybe this is why they're all dropping like flies - they started halfway through the competition, so they pushed themselves too far.

3) Not too many ballroom numbers - it seems like every week is just jazz, contemporary, broadway, with Bollywood mixed in now and again (and don't get me started on the Tahitian number)

4) The judges - I don't like the American Idol format of having the same judges every week. Yawnfest. Also, why is Mia Michaels always in such a crappy mood? Seriously, enjoy something for once. And also, learn some proper grammar. That goes for all the judges - show some enthusiasm! I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Mary Murphy and her screeching. I also miss Lil' C.

5) Cat Deeley - Seriously, WTF is up with her? Does she do a line of coke at each commercial break? I swear that she's on something. She's laughing at a joke that nobody else in the world has heard... also, stop flirting, it's kind of creepy.

6) Choreographers - why, in a show that has 6 dances, are 2 of them by one choreographer? Is everyone else too busy making 3D movies?

At least there was no stupid Mrs. Tom Cruise dance this year (but maybe they'll pull that one out for the finale.)

Socco-politics

I've been watching a lot of World Cup soccer. It's pretty exciting stuff (once you get over the vuvuzelas). But I was thinking about a way to make the World Cup even MORE exciting.

I think that teams should get an advantage based on geo-politics and their histories. Let's take a look at how this would pan out for the round of 16:

Uruguay vs. South Korea. Ok, bad example... moving on.

Mexico vs. Argentina - another bad example - even if you go back to the Incas

USA vs. Ghana - Well, this was tough, but it looks like the CIA tried to assasinate the Ghanan president at one time. They also destabilized the county's economy. This isn't all that great, but I think the US team should get an extra man for 20 minutes of the game.

England vs. Germany - Ok, this is a tough one to sort out. England beat Germany in two wars - that should warrant a two-goal head start. But, Germany bombed the snot out of London - maybe they get to start the game with a penalty kick to try and even out the score. But, what's this? The royal family are Germans! That bit of sneakery earns them a goal. So - the game starts 2-1, with a German penalty.

Netherlands vs. Slovakia - Another one with not much excitement. The Netherlands are members of NATO while Czechoslovakia were Warsaw Pacters. I guess since NATO won the cold-war "ish" - they might be given a bit of an advantage. Of course, since The Hague is in the Netherlands, they have the right to dispute any referee's call and pass judgement on it.

Japan vs. Paraguay - Seriously? Why couldn't it have been Spain or one of those old-school colonials.

Brazil vs. Chile - again, for countries so close, there isn't that much political history (at least according to Wikipedia). Maybe Chile gets an advantage because the food that sounds like their country (chili) is way better than the Brazillian one (brazil nuts). But then again, maybe Brazil gets an advantage because of Brazillians. But I digress...

Portugal vs. Spain - this is the most epic of all group of 16 matches. Portugal's throne was claimed by a Spaniard in the 1500s. Something like that definitely deserves a 1-goal advantage. But, the Portugese successfully overthrew the Iberian Union in a war, which nullifies the goal advantage.

In summation:
If your country colonized, invaded, seized the throne or bombed the ess out of another country +1 goal.

If your country successfully overthrew tyranny by another country in a violent fashion (none of this constitutional monarchy like Canada) +1 goal.

If your country dumped is prisoners on another country (England-Australia) - +1 goal (author's note: I know this isn't true, but it's fun to make fun of Australians?)

If your country dropped an atomic bomb on another country (applies to US only) - +2 goals. (Japan will NEVER want to face the US in the World Cup)

If your country successfully beat off a much stronger country when they tried to invade - +1 goal (if Vietnam ever plays the US.)

I'm sure there are more rules, but I'll let FIFA sort them out.

Oh - and even better - I think that World Cup results should translate into tangible political advantages. Like, if you beat a nuclear-capable country by more than 3 goals, they have to give you a uranium enricher - think how hard the Iranian team would play.

And just think about the south of France and the Tuscan region in Italy. Due to their terrible performance, they should expect some Kiwi or South African land-owners soon.

Chudway

Last weekend, we went to our friend's (Dani and Greg - shout out!) house for a practice day for our trip to Mexico.  (which means, eat Mexican food).  We received a call in transit from Dani that there were no ripe avocados at their Safeway - so we had to make a pit-stop to grab some.

The closest Safeway was Millbourne Market Mall, deep in the heart of Millwoods.  If you have never been there, I really don't suggest it - it has to be one of the chuddiest Safeways I've been to in a while.  (and don't get me started on the rest of the mall - it's like a worse version of Capilano mall, if you can believe that!)

Anyway - going to that Safeway is like a trip back in time.  It's like this store was passed over when Safeway did their store upgrades a few years ago.  Instead of fancy flooring, organized isles, self-checkouts, etc... you get:

1. Wide lanes.  I think it's because they have this huge store, but not much stock.  It's like that Seinfeld episode:
   
   
   
2. Old-school style round checkouts:  You know the ones - instead of a conveyer belt, it's a turn-table kind of dealy that endlessly rotates.  It's not like they needed to save the space in the store that those conveyer belts take up (see #1).  Maybe their clerks are erstwhile DJs or something.
3. Old-school style freezers.  Yes - instead of the stand-up freezers with doors that hold a ton of food, you get the floor-level, top-loading big bulk bins of coldness.  These take up a lot of room (see #1).
4. A whole lot of dead space.  The front of the store has no Starbucks, no video renting machine (and P.S. who buys DVDs from a vending machine at Safeway)?  Just a bunch of old linoleum in that 1970s Safeway style.  The store kindof looks like a 10-page report that you wrote, but did it treble-spaced with huge margins, so there's really only 2 pages of content.
5. A produce selection that rivals communist Russia.  I almost wanted to put on a big furry hat and line up with some vouchers for my monthly lettuce allotment.

So, the next time you're sipping your java-chip frappucino whilst checking out your own groceries, remember the early 80s and how much of a nasty chore grocery shopping used to be.

Or still is, if you have to take your kids along - right Kathryn?

Best of Edmonton?

This week, SEE Magazine released their annual results for "Best of Edmonton".  For the list, you can go here.

I just had to comment on this - while most categories seem OK, there really are some that I think they just copy from year to year - or, people just vote stupidly.

Favourite Edmontonian - Michael Phair.  Ok, I agree that people liked him a lot when he was on city council, and I have to agree that he could be favourite Edmontonian for 2007...  But come on, that was 3 years ago... unless you are involved in community relations for the UofA, do you really see him doing much?  (as an aside, I think he's stalking me - I do actually see him everywhere - but he is hard to miss in his wild shirt choices).

Best local professional athlete - third place was Ricky Ray.  Srsly?

Best donair - third place - Charles Smart.  Ok, just you try and go get a donair from Charles Smart.  Woops - it's a big pile of gravel.  This place has been closed for over a year AND TORN DOWN!

Best fine dining - Packrat Louie - ummmm?

Best brunch - Culina - granted, the food there was really good - but not what I would consider the best.  (hello, Smitty's anyone?) - I guess good ol' Smitts doesn't really count as brunch though.

Best everything else - to win, your store / business / brothel MUST be located on Whyte Ave.  If not, don't even think that you're ever going to win in any category.

Except if you're Ikea.

Mother's Day Gluttony

For mother's day, Greg and I decided that we would cook a gourmet meal for our wives (read our baby mammas).  Here's what was on the menu:

For an amuse bouche, we had tuna tartare - (recipe here) - this was amazing!  Some diced ahi tuna in a soy / lime / wasabi sauce.  I decided to serve it on a spoon, like this:

This was so good, that we broke the amuse bouche rule and had to have a second helping.

For the appetizer, I wanted to make a pan-seared foie gras with caramelized apples (recipe here).  So, at Sobey's Urban Fresh, across the street from where I work, they used to sell foie gras.  (at least, they did in March).  Turns out that they don't anymore.  Woops.  So, with some scrambling (and phone calls by Kathryn, because I hate the phone), we found mousse de foie gras.  I thought that we'd give it a try.

Served with this dish was a home-made brioche.  This recipe is from the French Laundry cookbook.  I was really impressed that I could cook something from that book.  The brioche and apples were amazing, the mousse, not so much.  But, live and learn.  The brioche recipe is here.  And here's a link to a really funny blog of someone who cooked her way through the French Laundry book.

By the way, making the brioche dough with a hand mixer was a bit troublesome... I had to keep re-attaching the dough hooks after they got bogged down in the buttery dough.

A picture of the brioche (before / after).

And the finished appetizer:

Next, a palate cleanser of cranberry sorbet (recipe here).  This was helped by Donvier, my good friend and ice-cream maker.

For the main course, we had Beef Wellington.  Note to anyone wanting to make this - please be sure to buy/make puff pastry - Phyllo pastry is NOT the same thing.... (requiring a second trip to the grocery store).  With this, we served creamed spinach and a Gorgonzolla and pear risotto.  The risotto was absolutely amazing (and probably the only thing on the menu that a vegetarian could eat).

The Wellington recipe is here, and the risotto recipe is here - from an interesting cooking blog.

Finally, for dessert, we had lime panna cotta with mint and tequila.  This was like an amazing creamy lime-y jello.  We had to eat it out of the ramekins, because we couldn't tease it out (despite calling it names).  It was a nice, light, awesome end to a wonderful meal.

Side note - the meal was even better because Greg and I served it all wearing chip-n-dale outfits, I mean just aprons, no wait, shirts and ties.