The Cheez Whiz secret

Aren't older sisters terrible?

Let me tell you a sad tale of endless woe.

When I was little - maybe like 9 or 10, my sister Janine was making a Cheez Whiz sandwich. I noticed, with awe, that she could get a lot of Cheez Whiz on the knife at once - eliminating the need to go back to the jar over and over to maximize the fake-cheesiness on her bread. As a clumsy, sausage-fingered kid, I was unable to perform such a wonderful task on my own sandwich.

So, I asked Janine how she did it. Her reply? "That's the Cheez Whiz secret. You don't get to know that until you're 12".

Birthdays came and went... every year, I counted down the years left until I too could spread orange oil-based substances like a pro. This was better than waiting until 14 to get a learner's permit, better than 18 to vote, better than 60 to get senior's discounts. I was going to be the Cheez Whiz master!

The day finally came, March 11, 1988. This would be the day I could finally learn the secret - a bit of family tradition passed down to each new generation of Babowals on their 12th birthday. I asked my sister, with bated breath, what the secret was.

TURNS OUT THERE'S NO CHEEZ WHIZ SECRET!

I guess when you're older, your hands work better. Thanks Janine for ruining my childhood. That was the day I left the innocence of the child behind and learned that the world deals out disappointments in spades.

Nicknames

For some reason, members of our family have a plethora of nicknames. I'm pretty sure that most of them are brought to you by Kathryn, who can't seem to call people by their real names. So, I thought it would be helpful to give you all a primer on the names in our family:

David: Deeds, D, DD, Pums, Pidge (for pidgeon, as in "Whatsa mattah pidge?"), DB (Tropical Breeze only)

Kathryn: K, Kate, Katie Lou (only for those expecting a punch), KB (again, Tropical Breeze only), Big Blue, Mrs. Bouvier, Bouves (or sometimes, Boobs)

Emily: Em, Emmie, Gem, Gemmie, Gemelina, The Jeet, Jeetsie, Em-Jeet, Brown-eyed girl, Big Brown, Gemelo, Bubble

Rebecca: Becca, Becs, Bean, Beanie, Beanbag, Blue-eyed girl, The Middle-est, Little Blue, Rebs, Rebsie, Becca-boo-bo, Eloise, Princess Eloise, Julia, Princess Julia (those last ones are self-named), Rebroccoli

Eve: Evie, Believe-y, Believes, Little Badness, Little Brown, Eves

And, for extended family members:

Georgina: Gina, Geenz, Jammy, Jamzinger, Geenz-Jammy, Francine, Jorgehina (said with a spanish accent).

Matthew: Faffu, Faffs, Le Faff

Suzie: Suze, Booze, Blues, Blues Clues, Boozy, Floozy, Boggus

Adam: Ponyboy, Jesus

Chris: Wristy (I think Kathryn's the only one that calls him this), Cheese

Janet: Juanita, Juanny, Nanny noona, Nick nacky noona, Nanny Juanny

Bill: Mr. Dressup, Gorbachev

James: Gorbachev (long story)

Janine: J9, Martha (maybe?)

Colleen: Hmm - I don't have one, other than Coh-leen

Weekly cooking - Part 1

A little history:

We got hooked on watching Gordon Ramsay's "The F Word". It's basically a show where he encourages people to cook proper food instead of buying ready-made meals and eating junk. After watching a season and a half (or, if you're British, a series and a half) we decided that we both like cooking, and we could probably make better food than the pre-packaged stuff at Costco.

ANYWAY, I decided it would be fun to blog about the food choices we make each week - which ones worked, and which ones didn't.

So, this week, our first food choice was Pan Fried Hake with Tomato Relish, from Gordon's Fast Food book (my wonderful father's day present).

Turns out that the dudes at Safeway have never heard of Hake. Instead of trucking down to Billingsgate market and paying a snotload of money, Kathryn picked up some snapper fillets instead.

The recipe was super simple - just pan-fry the seasoned fish in olive oil, then remove the fish and toss in some cherry tomatos, white wine vinegar, cilantro, green onion and seasoning. The recipe called for Hake with the skin on - and you were supposed to make the skin all crispy and golden as you cooked it.

Turns out that snapper doesn't come with the skin on from Safeway. So, our fish crumbled a little bit.

In any event, this one was a definite winner. It didn't even taste like fish (that was for Janine). It was so good that we almost didn't have restraint to save some for the next day.

Today's bonus:

We had a roast chicken last week, so we decided to make our own chicken stock. In all, we now have 7 cups of stock frozen away, just waiting on a recipe to use it. I can't wait - it smelled wonderful while simmering.

Guilty Pleasure Food

Here are some recipes for food that is totally not good for you, but should still be consumed in large quantities:

1) Extra-creamy cereal.

i) Get a bowl full of some cereal with a good high-fructose corn syrup rating. Something like Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Reese Puffs
ii) Instead of milk, use half-and-half cream
iii) Stuff your face
iv) If there's cream remaining, fill the bowl again, repeat.

2) Pastel caliente con queso solamente

i) Go to the store and buy a bag of shredded cheese. Kraft's Italiano works the best for this. Cause seriously, who has time to grate cheese?
ii) Heat a frying pan on number 7 or so. Make sure the red dot is gone (if you have those space-age pans like we do).
iii) Put a nice big layer of cheese on the pan.
iv) Wait until it's all melted and bubbling.
v) Fold it into a nicely rolled cheese crepe.
vi) Stuff your face - watch for burns
vii) Call 911 when your arteries get blocked.